The Phillies are also going to play baseball, apparently. So, what can be expected in 2015? Here are five predictions, including exclamation points, because this Phillies season will need a little bit of pizazz.
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1. First-place Phillies!
Cole Hamels will remain on the roster at least long enough to pitch opening day against the Red Sox. If Ruben Amaro Jr. has waited this long to trade Hamels, he can keep waiting. The wait will pay off, because instead of Hamels pitching against the Phillies in the opener, he will shut down the new-look Red Sox lineup and lead Philadelphia into first place in the National League East. Then the Phillies will lose the next two games, fall into last place in the East, and Hamels will sneak onto the Red Sox team bus. This gambit will not work, but Hamels will be traded before the July 31 deadline. Callers to WIP will be split evenly between those saying that Amaro did not get enough back for the ace and those saying that the Eagles totally botched their first-round pick two months earlier.
2. Last-place Phillies!
It won’t be easy, because the Braves spent the winter indicating their intention is to tank for the remainder of their time in Atlanta before moving to the suburbs in 2017. Don’t worry, though, because once the Phillies trade Hamels, Jonathan Papelbon and anyone else of even slight value who is over the age of 30 and not named Chase Utley (yes, dealing Carlos Ruiz makes sense and it’s easy to see where there would be a market for him in July), there should be no stopping Philadelphia from achieving what needs to be achieved because the Twins — those silly Twins — are going to try to be borderline competent while the American League Central wipes the floor with them.
3. Peace out, Big Piece!
Ryan Howard is due $25 million this season, $25 million next season and then a $10 million buyout to not pay him $23 million in 2017. By the time the trade deadline rolls along, it will be feasible both for the Phillies to get something back for him by eating some of that money and for the team acquiring Howard to accept that he’s a lefty bat to help a playoff push and then do whatever he can next season. The in-the-hunt Marlins, who pay Giancarlo Stanton only $6.5 million this season and $9 million next season before his salary jumps astronomically, and could use some lefty-hitting pop, make only too much sense.
4. Going all the way!
The Phillies are scheduled to play 162 games, and that is how many games they will play. This is subject to change if there is a late-season rainout and the game has no playoff implications for either team. OK, for the other team. This is important, because the Phillies have a 12-year streak of playing 162 games. Also, every game the Phillies play will be played until there is a winner, because the Phillies play a brand of baseball where there are no ties, also known as “baseball.” But what about the 2002 All-Star Game, you say? The Phillies had players in that game. Yes, it’s true, they did, but how many of them play for the Phillies now? That’s right, ZERO, because they traded Jimmy Rollins to the Dodgers this winter.
5. October baseball!
The Phillies finish the season on Oct. 4 against the Marlins, and could conceivably have a chance to repay Miami’s favor from the final weekend of the 2007 season, when the then-Florida Marlins went to Shea Stadium and took two of three games from the Mets, which combined with the Phillies taking two of three games from the Nationals to complete the greatest comeback/collapse in baseball history and give Philadelphia the division title. All the Phillies would have to do would be roll over and play dead. Considering the skeleton roster they will have at season’s end, having traded its most meaningful players not named Chase Utley, this task should not be too difficult. Look for a third consecutive Marlins season to feature a no-hitter on the final day of the campaign, following Henderson Alvarez’s gem against the Tigers in 2013 and last season’s performance by Jordan Zimmermann against the Fish in Washington.
